Dan Erwin

“Setting” Boundaries Versus “Negotiating” Boundaries

Is there a substantial difference? Or are they just two words for the same thing? And does it really matter? Prior to the 1950s, they would have been just two words for the same thing. That is, if anyone ever used the term “negotiating” boundaries. The practice of “negotiating” boundaries comes primarily out of the 1980s with the flattening of business hierarchies and the strong orientation to women’s rights. With the exception of sales negotiation, it was rare to talk about negotiating relationships until the mid-1980s. And since then there has been tons of research and some training solely in the practice of negotiating interpersonal boundaries. In simple terms, setting boundaries is one individual determining boundaries for others. Negotiating boundaries is two or more creating a workable agreement on the boundaries between them.

So, there’s a significant difference between setting and negotiating boundaries. Major business leaders as well as many community leaders recognize these differences even without distinguishing between the two terms. But, ask the right questions and they can clarify immediately. I’ve learned, sadly, that these same professionals are typically incapable of using the negotiation competence in their family. Shifting competencies from one context to another without training is highly problematic—even for top business school grads. Similarly, lower level bureaucrats, patriarchal families, pastors, the Roman and Evangelical churches, small and medium-sized privately held owner-firms lack insight to the distinctions and sometimes have a lot of resistance on their hands as a result of their ignorance.

Creating still more difficulty, my psychologist colleagues have no rhetorical format for negotiation. Common formats provide the means for improving, changing or even rejecting former ways of communicating. Without a common format, they’re always attempting to reinvent the wheel, a strategy which readily results in failure or limited success. They talk a good talk about “setting boundaries,” but lack awareness of the extensive implications of differing boundaries. This is surprising, because the counseling profession knows that ignoring or flagrantly setting boundaries is one of the major causes of family breakdown. And there are plenty of other people and organizations in the dark and looking at abject failure because of their ignorance and unwillingness to operate on the basis of negotiating boundaries.

The role of power
Although I’ve never heard anyone make the distinction between setting and negotiating, it’s time to start using the rhetoric much more carefully. Why? Because, the distinctions are primarily about power: who’s got it and what are the most effective ways to use it.

In business organizations power is traditionally viewed from three perspectives: vested, expert and network. Simply put, vested power is the legitimate power given to an individual to run teams, projects or disciplines within an organization. Expert is the power conferred on an individual who has the necessary knowledge others require for success. And network power is that of a person who knows a terrific amount of people who are capable of providing the necessary support and insight which individuals or groups require to succeed. Obviously simplistic, but occasionally useful clarity.

However, as a result of the unique work of the French academic, Michel Foucault, we understand that power is a lot more complex than the above little model. Foucault emphasizes that where there is power, there is also resistance. So, it’s all the more important to understand that successful power has much more to do, for example, with how a person or an organization chooses to organize ideas, make comparisons, and locate new ideas, often metaphorically, within highly respected old ideas. To an obvious degree, knowing what to say, how to say it, and what not to say in a given culture can be powerful negotiation strategies. That kind of expertise is usually necessary for successful boundary negotiation, which at its core is a matter of interaction around “I’ll do this if you’ll do that.” Simple relationships can sometimes be negotiated in three minutes, while major organizations or nations may take ten to twenty years to negotiate their differences in order to achieve mutual goals...

Is It Just Possible That Trump and Trumpism Have Been Good for Us?

I suggested to one of my daughters just yesterday that Trump has actually been good for us, an idea that has crossed my mind over the last six months. Actually, it's an approach that any rhetorical critic understands: to argue against a case, you have to understand the opposing case in spades. And it's especially helpful if the opposing case can be clarified by experience and behaviors on the ground. In my comments to my daughter I explained (poorly) why Trump just might have been helpful to the nation. 

So it's fascinating to see an opinion article by Nicholas Kristof in today's Times making the same point. But he does a far better job of arguing the case.

Our nation is a mess, but overlapping catastrophes have also created conditions that may finally let us extricate ourselves from the mire. The grim awareness of national failures — on the coronavirus, racism, health care and jobs — may be a necessary prelude to fixing our country...

Must-Read (and View) on Today's Conflicted World

A blueprint to actually fix America's police. In this article by a professor of law, a former deputy chief of police and a criminology professor, the three argue very intelligently that we know what to do to stop police violence, but there's not the will to do it.  https://bit.ly/2A8aGc0

How the world can avoid screwing up the response to the next covid-19 again. Begley and Branswell, two of our very best science writers, lay out a highly useful and informative strategy to avoid getting caught with our pants down. They avoid the magic stuff, like "invent a vaccine." https://bit.ly/3eZnz6O

What does the shocking unemployment report really mean? The Atlantic's Derek Thompson writes that no one is sure whether this is a dead-cat economic bounce or the beginning of a glorious summer of economic recovery. He tries to figure it out for himself, gives up, and turns to especially thoughtful economist who talks about the answer to his question with two unusual terms: suppression and recession--a unique analysis that sounds accurate. https://bit.ly/374Sjka

James Mattis denounces Trump. He finally breaks his silence, tells you why he opens up and then explains our presidential predicament. https://bit.ly/37i2zWF 

With protests, the 'bright side' and 'dark side' of America are on display. With two straightforward conclusions, the sociologist, Harvard's Orlando Patterson, explains our historical predicament: the background for Mattis. https://on.msnbc.com/3eUQcCk

For the Coronavirus Chaos: by Einstein

Albert Einstein seems to have an endless supply of relevant quotes.This one is especially pungent for all that's going on in especially religious contexts today:

"Science without religion is lame: Religion without science is blind."

"Better to be six feet apart..."

"than six feet under," says Governor Gretchen Whitmer of Michigan. Although I'm quite certain that the virus will rebuild the value of science and scientists, I also suspect that it's also hardening anti-science perspectives. 

Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer (D) vigorously defended her continuing stay-at-home order Friday after thousands of protesters converged on the capital, Lansing, and four northern Michigan sheriffs said they would not strictly enforce it.

“You know what? I can take it,” Whitmer said during an appearance on ABC’s “Good Morning America.” “If it makes people feel better to take their frustrations out on me, that’s fine. All I ask is let’s not get overly political here. Let’s focus on the public health. … I know that there are a lot of businesses and people that are hurting right now. But the fact of the matter is it’s better to be six feet apart right now than six feet under.”

Whitmer has faced hundreds of maskless protesters in Lansing, along with the refusal of at least four Michigan sheriffs to support her authority. She has shown herself to be a very capable state leader.

Currently, Michigan is the fifth deadliest state for coronavirus. Some people have difficulty looking reality in the face.  There are a lot of covidiots out there. Where there are intelligent rules, there are always people to break them. Plenty of people never seem to understand that smart safeguards, designed by specialists, save lives.

So, Pete Buttigieg Annoys His Competition

I find that amusing. Especially when his competitors immediately go to his lack of Washington experience. There is absolutely no necessary correlation whatsoever between experience and expertise. That’s a well-researched conclusion.

My wife, an elementary school teacher, came home one day with an anecdote from a teachers’ workshop. The speaker told the story of someone wanting a position as elementary coach because she had twenty years of elementary school experience. Her principal refused, but later in an aside to his assistant commented that actually she didn’t have twenty years of experience. She just had twenty years of first year experience.

And still others will say that Mayor Pete...

Actually, Alligators Are Great

That's the last word from Douthat's Sunday NYTimes opinion--and that's the argument, Douthat says, that the Republicans will be making.

When Trump Gets His Alligator

...

In the Ukraine scandal, the guardrails protecting the president from his worst impulses broke down. Makes complete sense.

Photo from The Economist

And of course he wants alligators and poisonous snakes on the Rio Grande border. The Economist totted up the cost of his schemes. The total, including water pumps, electrified flesh piercing spikes--and shooting migrants in the legs--would add up to approximately $30 bn...

Better Schools Are Not Enough (Part One)

My wife, who consulted and taught in both upper-middle class schools (Littleton, Colorado) and numerous inner-city schools (Detroit and Minneapolis), was the source of many insights that would never have crossed my mind or appeared in policy articles. One of her deep-seated insights was that merely fixing the schools could never heal many children’s educational problems, much less significantly impact achievement. And she had the breadth of experience and political wisdom to support her conclusion.

Seven years after her death, her conclusion has finally surfaced—in two intriguing places. The first was an indirect statement out of the mouth of Mayor Pete in the August Democratic debate. Ezra Klein called my attention to it in his analysis of the August debate. Coming after a lengthy section in which the candidates debated different health care plans, decriminalizing unauthorized border crossing, and a series of gun control ideas, none of which have the slightest possibility of passing in a Republican controlled senate.

At that point Buttigieg spoke up to say that this was the conversation that we’ve been having for the last 20 years. Of course, these policies are all true and needed. But when he proposes the actual structural democratic reforms that might make a difference—and make the policies possible--people look at him funny, as if this country was incapable of structural reform. Buttigieg’s basic understanding is that when the middle class has to hold down two or three jobs just to exist, children cannot get the kind of support and family education they need. He’s applied that insight to all kinds of situations. But significantly, I suspect he understands, since he’s married to a smart teacher, that schools with lower poverty rates tend to have higher scores, while schools serving large numbers of poor students have a different perspective on what achievement looks like. That’s all a reflection on the long-standing and well-documented connection between a schools’ poverty rate and achievement.

Education isn’t enough
But the most thoroughgoing analysis of this issue was written by Nick Hanauer and appeared in the July issue of the Atlantic. He sets up the problem uniquely, admitting that he used to think that better schools could heal the country’s ills. But, he acknowledges, he was wrong.

The common view is that both poverty and rising inequality are largely consequences of America’s failing education system. And, Hanauer admitted, he’s supported that view publicly and in the establishment of organizations, embracing education as both a philanthropic cause and a civic mission.

The typical reasoning is that if we improved our schools, modernized curricula and teaching methods, increased school funding while eliminating poor teachers, then low-income and working-class children would start learning again. That would result in better graduation rates and increased salaries, eliminating much of today’s poverty and inequality.

In contrast, Hanauer finds that American workers are struggling because they are underpaid, not primarily because of poor education. In fact, Americans are more highly educated than ever before. Despite nearly record-low employment, most Americans have seen practically no wage growth since 2000. He puts it rather clearly: educationism is tragically mistaken. Why is that? “Even the most thoughtful and well-intentioned school-reform program can’t improve educational outcomes if it ignores the single greatest driver of student achievement: house-hold income.”

(See part two for Hanauer’s rationale and data.)
**The Atlantic, July 2019.

 

 

From the Atlantic's James Fallows. . . to Pete Buttigieg

In the Fall of Rome, Good News for America.

The October Atlantic just arrived and I was immediately intrigued by James Fallows fascinating article. Actually, it's a response to Peter Mellon's, The World of Late Antiquity and the new book, Walter Scheidel's Escape from Rome. Fallows argues that though the US government is essentially sterile and self-paralyzed, he's found a terrific amount of resilience in state and local governments. In fact, he's found that state and local government, and for certain large private organizations and universities, the country is mainly functional--in exactly areas where national governance has failed. 

Especially enlightening is "that by large margins, Americans feel dissatisfied with the course of national events--and by even larger margins, they feel satisfied with and connected to local institutions and city governments." An American Enterprise Institute team found that 80 percent of Americans found their own town to be an excellent or good place to live. And 70 percent said they trusted people in their own neighborhood. . .

Why Trump Is a Lot Weaker Than He Thinks

Again and again my acquaintances, liberal and even some of my Republican friends are running scared about what Trump is doing to our democracy and its institutions. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not ignoring the mess Trump has created or even its impact on our culture, but I find that some, perhaps much, of the fear is overwrought.

So, one way to understand what’s going on in the US is, first, to step out of our democracy and look at parallels around the world. Trump is not unique, but in many ways comparable to what’s going on in other countries. Tom Carothers and Richard Youngs, specialists in foreign policy at the Carnegie Institute, published an article in Foreign Affairs in April 2017 about nations like Russia, Holland, Turkey and Indonesia where illiberal democracy is supposedly on the rise.

There’s no question that democracy has lost its momentum. That’s seen in the fact that there are only a handful of more electoral democracies in the world today than at the start of this century. It’s also true that many older democracies, like the US and the UK, are troubled.

There are a number of issues, however, that impact this gloom and doom. One issue is the theory that democratic transitions naturally move in a positive direction—and that established democracies don’t fall backwards. To a degree, these beliefs are driven by unconscious beliefs in evolution, a gross misunderstanding of evolutionary theory. Back in the mid-twentieth century, George Gaylard Simpson, a giant of 20th Century biology, observed in a 1964 article in the journal Science that the fossil record shows very clearly that there is no central line leading steadily, in a goal-directed way, from a protozoan to man. Instead there has been continual and extremely intricate branching, and whatever course we follow through the branches there are repeated changes both in the rate and in the direction of evolution. Man is the end of one ultimate twig...