Now, mostly dead is slightly alive. From “The Princess Bride” by William Goldman.
More and more the role of conversation in business is beginning to get attention among businesspeople and the professions. There are a number of reasons for that. But the most important reason is that without effective, enlightening and articulate conversation skills, professionals get ignored. Including professionals with top competencies in their field.
Just a short time ago, I was in a group of professionals discussing the role of artificial intelligence. I noticed, much to my chagrin, one of the brightest guys was often ignored. So I turned on my rhetorical talk-ware to understand why.
In just a few minutes I figured out why: he was sabotaging his ideas with “hedging.” Amazing that hedging can result in power loss, but there it was, right in front of us. And I’m certain he was totally unaware of what his hedging was doing to him and his ideas.
Sometimes hedging is just a verbal tic. But a significant group of generally smart professionals periodically shoot themselves in the foot with its use. They can resolve a problem, break it down into bits and pieces for a solid resolution--and even explain their rationale. But along the way their input loses its credibility for a simple reason: hedging. They don’t understand that hedges limit their credibility.
It’s not just the overly-polite Upper Midwesterners who hedge, but New Yorkers, Virginians and even Californians. Furthermore, it’s not just women who do it: a surprising share of men do the same thing. This small behavior happens too frequently—and inevitably means...we miss out on great ideas and highly creative solutions. And the guy who hedges, gets ignored.
What’s hedging?
A hedge can take different forms. It can be in the shape of a clause, word, hesitation or tone--used to soften the impact of what’s being said. It may be an attempt to defer to the other person, to be polite or avoid bragging. The original motivation for hedging stems from caring about how one is perceived. Over the long term the hedge becomes habituated—and unconscious. And the hedge is habituated into the person’s speech and sound even when there is no concern about another’s perceptions. The response? A tune-out.
“This is kind of the way I think it is.” The tone in the hedge is usually soft with a sense of questioning built into the sound. The hedge? “Kind of.”
“This is right?” The intonation on the last word is a question with built-in pleading for agreement and acceptance. It’s an unnecessary and destructive caveat.
Hedging can take the form of an adjective, an adverb or an entire clause, as in the following three examples from Wikipedia:
There might just be a few insignificant problems we need to address. (adjective)
The party was somewhat spoiled by the return of the parents. (adverb)
I'm not an expert but you might want to try restarting your computer. (clause)
In contrast, effective business conversations explicitly emphasize the “fact-like” shape of language, both in conversation and presentation settings. Business people typically proclaim their version of the truth with an artful zeal that spells “charisma.” Of course, the tone can be bombastic, like a fundamentalist preacher, or just quietly, but certain and without any tonal hedging.
Fixing hedging
Most people who use hedging are both unaware of their linguistic behavior and ignorant of its negative impact. It’s such an unconscious, habituated behavior that some will deny they hedge, even though it’s as plain as the nose on their face.
So to the degree possible, plan your conversations. But set up a close friend or two to give you feedback on your linguistic behavior. Give them some examples of what to look for. And afterward, check for your success.
Real success will take some hard work because hedging is a deeply habituated practice. But the payoff can be very significant. Avoidance of hedging makes your talk more believable. It makes you a more credible professional.