To the Givers Go the Riches: The Hidden Dimension of Work—and Life Relationships

Today’s political world would often have you believe that it’s the “getters” who have success—not the “getters.” But that’s a short term bias. And admittedly a few politicos seem to have success on that basis. But what you’re seeing is the gross exception not the everyday reality. The percentage of successful “getters” is very small, even though that few get a lot of attention. American writers love to call attention to the exceptions: it makes for great reading and sells a lot of copy. 

Just common sense
The people who look at the big picture recognize that a few of the getters succeed, but they know it’s a damned few. And that a terrific percentage of “getters” are very unhappy, frustrated people down deep. It’s just common sense that the givers make the great contributions to our communities—not the getters. The problem with that statement, however, is that common sense has become a rare ingredient in most cultures. And for a number of documentable reasons common sense has become a rare commodity in today’s world. It’s that loss, too, that drives all the craziness, fake facts and conspiracy thinking we stare at or listen to nearly every day.

The major reason common sense has gone the way of the dodo bird is the unique siloing of the universe since WWII. We’ve got academic silos, business silos, industry silos, religious silos, political silos, class silos, economic silos, race silos--and most people talking to themselves. No wonder the crazies are able to stir up manure by the ton load. If you know your history and literature, you know that silos have always been around, limiting and rejecting a common worldly sense.

The example that often comes to mind is

the drama of Job in the Jewish Testament. Job has paid all his dues, been highly responsible, providing for the outsider and followed the biblical gospel of social and economic justice. Then, in the drama, all his wealth has been taken away from him. So he screams bloody murder to JHVH (god), remonstrating the creator and asking for justice—common sense. Then the “three friends,” the “crazies” of that world, drop by to explain his predicament. They argue essentially that if “you’re really righteous, you’d get a reward.” Job rejects them all, and eventually in the drama god agrees and rewards him even more than he’d ever dream. Some of the threads are not all tied up in the drama, but that too is the nature of life. What the book teaches is that the common sense of social and economic justice is reality—and that shit sometimes happens, but life and fulfillment go to those who follow that (“divine”) common sense of social and economic justice. And so when shit happens, don’t give it power over your life.

Life and business common sense
Shift your networking orientation from getting to giving and your long term success is assured 90 to 95% of the time. For example, it’s a proven fact that those with the best networks usually get the most job opportunities, the fastest promotions and the top salaries. Yet building a great personal network is not as easy as many think. Recent research confirms what I’ve found to be true in my own business: effective networking is more about giving than getting.

Adam Grant of Wharton, the hottest organizational researcher of his generation, shatters the myth that greed is the path to success. With personal research as well as an exceedingly knowledgeable base of research on career success, Grant reveals how and why you don’t need to be a selfish asshole to succeed in this life. And the research generalizes readily and applies directly to successful networking.

As Grant tells the story in the McKinsey Quarterly, a team of Harvard psychologists “invaded” the US intelligence system after the tragic events of 9/11. They ranked the 64 different intelligence groups from best to worst and identified what they assumed were the factors driving a unit’s effectiveness. After parsing all the data, they discovered that the most important factor wasn’t on their list. That critical factor wasn’t a clear, challenging and meaningful vision, stable team membership, the right number of people, team cohesion or even strong leadership and resources.

The hidden dimension
The single, strongest predictor of group success was the amount of help that analysts gave to each other. In the highest performing and most productive teams, analysts invested extensive time in coaching, teaching and consulting with their colleagues. What Grant points out is that the importance of helping-behavior for personal and organizational effectives stretches far beyond intelligence work—the 9/11 issue, and it even enhances networking success.

The benefits of helping behavior, Grant finds, are both broad and deep. Among the consequences are the following:

Problem solving and getting work done faster

Better team cohesion and coordination

Transfer of expertise from experienced to new employees

Reducing performance variability caused by overload or distraction

Creating an environment in which both customers and suppliers feel that their needs are the organization's top priority

Key to networking In the terrific study on social capital
Wayne Baker doesn’t mess around with the networking issues. Right from the get-go Baker takes aim on the myth of individualism, showing beyond a shadow of a doubt that the people who prosper most recognize that what they know is never enough. They understand that it’s also who they know. Who you know provides the information, the ideas, leads, business opportunities, financial capital, power and influence, emotional support and even good will. And, surprisingly people with good networks enjoy better mental and physical health and they’re a lot happier than most. Furthermore, they even live a longer life than most. Networking is about great business success. . . and a far better quality of life.

But right from the get-go also, Baker takes aim on the false notion that networking is about getting.  “The goal of building networks,” he writes, “is to contribute to others. Doing it the other way around—to help oneself—is ultimately self-defeating.” And then, not surprisingly, Baker goes to biblical wisdom and even to Chinese feng shui to make his point (“It is more blessed to give than receive.”) He wraps up his approach to networking with the sage advice of psychology: “A mark of emotional maturity. . . is the switch from a focus on getting to the joy of giving.” That’s a secularized version of the Jewish, Islamic and Christian gospel.

It’s hard for many of us to give up the focus on getting and buy into giving. It’s rooted deep in our modern individualist culture –and complete lack of common sense. But the fact of the matter is that once you hold getting in abeyance, you’re able to view new possibilities. Although the older psychologies viewed gratification as the key human driver, psychologists today argue that the primary motivation is participation: growth and development in connection with others. There you are: Both top organizational psychologists Grant and Baker emphasize giving for success--not getting!  

Adam Grant’s conclusion to his McKinsey article is spot-on for successful networking: “If you want it, go and give it.”

Tags: Adam Grant, networking, relationship building, social capital, success, Wayne Baker