There are actually two questions here: can charisma be learned, and will it positively impact business outcomes? Since I’ve worked over the years with clients to develop their charisma, I find the questions, well…amusing. Because the answers to both questions from those in the disciplines of rhetoric and communication is yes. Of course. We’ve known that for years. In fact, for centuries.
But what’s especially interesting about recent research (2011) by the psych and economics faculty at the University of Lausanne is that they look at the question from the perspective of economics in the European context, confirming the power of the discipline of charisma.
But there’s a lot more pragmatic stuff to be added to this research as well as most blogs and studies. The discipline of charisma is inevitably viewed from a public address format: a speaker addressing a group. But for career people, there are far more opportunities to practice and learn in a one-on-one or small group. Furthermore, it’s best to start adding charisma from your tool-kit early on, rather than waiting until you get a managerial promotion. It’s also far less intimidating to learn in a one-on-one or small group, than to wait until you’re a manager and have large group responsibilities.
Given my assumption, let’s ignore the research laundry list of tactics, and the unique opportunities provided by public address settings. Besides, if you gain the competencies in small groups, you can automatically transfer them to the public address context. So, skip those long lists of skills to gain the competency, and focus on just two very significant tactics that will set you on the path to charisma. Furthermore, with just a bit of reflection, these two skills for one-on-ones and small groups will readily open up other strategies..
- Work on stories and anecdotes. Though some suggest that you build language skills first, I’ve found that starting by using a simple story enables you to learn about language far better than just focusing on tools like metaphor, analogy and colorful language. Normally, a story skeleton can be stated in just a single sentence. “What I learned when I was working with a new client was that …” So, when you start by telling simple stories with just a bare skeleton and create a brief narrative of three or four sentences, you’ll find feedback, comments or questioning coming right back on you. That can have a very constructive, learning impact. You’ll shift gears either internally or openly in an almost unconscious attempt to figure out how you can better clarify, explain or make the story more focused and colorful. What’s important here is that the context drives your learning, inevitably resulting (at least after a little practice) to create a fully colorful, metaphoric anecdote, lest the interaction become wasted time. You’ll slowly also learn how to become more reflective to your colleague’s responses.
Actually, the traditional educational model sucks. And better educators know that. I’ve rarely found it possible, for example, to learn vocabulary from a list of “five important new words for this month.” I inevitably learn colorful vocabulary from reading and meeting a word that I’m not certain about, but seems to be charismatically valuable. That’s when I go the dictionary to learn the meaning and various nuances of the word. Of course, if I only see it once in that paper or article, I’ll probably forget it. But then the next time and the next, when I see the word, it surfaces from my memory, causing me once more to go back to the dictionary and rehearse the meanings and nuances. That’s when I really add the word—or phrase--to my vocabulary. In fact, if you were to pick up an article or book I’ve reading, you’ll probably find a term or phrase underlined, with my explanation noted. Writing always reinforces.
- Work on (facial and body) nonverbals. The best way to build this repertory is by watching other people. But if you’re doing the talking, the small audience will mirror your facials and body, so the insight you’ll gain from that is how flat your nonverbals really are. That’s information you need, but it’s not the way to develop charisma. Find a few people who have some nonverbals that attract people’s attention and look inside yourself as she talks. You’ll be mirroring her nonverbals—along with the rest of the audience. To learn, observe the conversationalist and his/her audience. I’ll be you’ll be mirroring her too.
The best analogy is singing in a choir. Choir members watch their leader, mirroring his expressions, but they also “watch” with their ears to make certain they’re matching the rest of the choir members. What you’ll find when you get involved, is that your “ears” see a lot more nonverbals than ever before. At the same time, you’ll be doing a small amount of unconscious mirroring. You’ll learn to pay attention to yourself as your body is responding. And as that expertise grows, you’ll be able to build the nonverbals of charisma.
Two important caveats: learning new behaviors like using new language skills and acting on nonverbals is far, more difficult than learning to code, do math and statistics, or devise mechanical process. In other words, soft skills are a lot tougher than hard skills. When you think you “understand” something you’re not even half way there in a new behavior. It’s a different part of the brain that actually puts behavior into place. And you might as well expect a lot more mistakes in nonverbals than in coding. That just goes with the turf.
Second, follow the rule of “act then think (reflectively).” Most people want to think everything through first, so they’ll make a good impression and not fail. Sorry, but the only way you really learn to be charismatic is through failure--then reflection, then trying it on again. When you start a new behavior, just go with that general, messy, confused idea of what you hope to do, act on it, and then reflect on what happened, making the change that you see necessary. Of course, chunking a behavior into very small bits supports this learning process exceptionally well. Uhhh, you’ll often find that you have to redo a single chunk several times to get what you want. But keeping the learning in small bits is the best way to learn and also relieves much potential fear or embarrassment.
The research or blog list (see below) of ten behaviors to become charismatic is mostly a waste of time for a “how to.” Set them aside, follow my suggestions, and check back with the list six months later. Long lists may be useful for category thoroughness, but they’re not very useful for actual learning.
*Mark Van Vugt, Can Charisma Be Taught? https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/naturally-selected/201205/can-charisma-be-taught