Dan Erwin

Do You Have An Immunity to Change?

Humans differ significantly in their ability to make change.  As a personal coach to executives for more than thirty years, it’s obvious that these differences are the status quo. Desire and motivation aren’t enough—even when it’s literally a matter of life or death.

Some, it seems, have a profound immunity to change.  Often, they understand the need for change and they may even understand what the change might look like. But for some reason they seem stymied, and unable ...

Can You Really Tell When Your Boss Is Telling the Truth?

The short answer to that question is rarely. Yet bosses matter a lot because nearly all employees have them.  And most bosses also have bosses. There are at least 21 million bosses in the United States.  Bob Sutton points out that estimates run as high as 38 million bosses.  Far more often than not our success is tied to that relationship with our boss.  It's invitable In organizational structures that we sometimes wonder whether the information coming from our boss is really the truth.

Bosses can be deceptive for any number of reasons: they lack permission to share information, they don't think we need the information, they don't understand our need for information, or they're defensive.

As a result, most of us prefer face-to-face meetings when there's a lot at stake.  We like to think we can gauge the truthfulness or sincerity of our boss's words by the look in her eye and the tone of her voice.  

So, how good are you, really, at ascertaining when your boss is telling the truth?
Paul Ekman, the well-known expert at non-verbal assessment and lie-detection, has found ...

Effective Listening Is Not About Trying Harder

Gaining responsibilities in organizations is about getting things done through other people. That means influencing people. But few understand that one important key to that success is listening: it's the primary means for understanding another's attitudes, priorities and commitments.

A case in point that I referred to in a previous blog is Teresa Taylor, COO of Quest.  Taylor admitted that very often, rather than listen, she was formulating ideas in her head.  Her task, she soon realized, was to listen not formulate ideas. But that, she said, was not as simple as she once thought. The traditional ways of learning to listen were just not working for her.

So how do you go about becoming a better listener?  Most people decide to "try harder" at listening.  But "trying harder" will bring little positive results...

Five Ways to Screw Up a Job Change

Since people are beginning to make a job changes, have started looking for a different position, or are giving serious thought to moving to another company, now's the time to call your attention to a superb HBR article on "bungling" a job change.

The article, written by Boris Groysberg and Robin Abrahams, reminds us that the average baby boomer will switch jobs 10 times according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics (Gen-Y, 12 to 15 times, or more). It also calls attention to the fact that the worker as free agent will be a reality regardless of economic conditions--all of which means it's incumbent upon us to take greater control of our own careers.  And since there are times when most of us have to accept a less-than-perfect fit for financial reasons, it's very important to remember ...

Does Social Media Make You Anti-Social?

Well . . . No.  And yes.  The issue surfaces regularly in management situations.  It sounds like this:  "This guy is great with social media, software and applications.  He knows how to work online with other people.  He understands social networking.  But get him or her in front of people and it's a disaster.  So I can't promote him.  Get him out of the cubicle and he's lost.  He doesn't know how to read people."

In what seems to be a rejection of the above, Penelope Trunk makes the point that Gen-Yers are better communicators than the rest of the generations.   She supports her idea with research from Stanford writing classes.  The research finds that texting and tweeting makes them better communicators.  It teaches them rhetorical adaptability, the ability to make adjustments to their "reading" audience.  All well and good.  And obviously true.  I'd have to be brain dead not to realize that Gen-Yers are better at electronic communication and that the near instant feedback teaches them quickly adjust their messages. (Still, recent research suggests a lot of caveats to that conventional conclusion. Gen-Yers just use electronic communication more--they're not necessarily better at it than the other generations.) But Penelope pushes the envelope too far in arguing that they're better at face-to-face communication than their elders.  Better?  I doubt it.  Equal to?  On some occasions, perhaps. But probably poorer than the generations that didn't start out with social media. 

For example, a very important issue that both Penelope and the research on writing skills omit is the high impact of the nonverbal.  The research is about written rhetoric, not about oral rhetoric.  In distinct contrast, research on oral communication indicates that more than 90% of face-to-face communication is nonverbal.  That includes the impact of context, verbal tone, posture, gesture and eye contact.  And it's all those nonverbal messages that take a lot of time to learn.  You can text from now to doomsday and you won't learn, for example, what silence in a given conversation means.  I've watched people lose their jobs as a result of the simple failure to understand silence in a given context.  And when you ask, you're asking for trouble, unless you know how to ask in a way that doesn't evoke defensiveness.  And to be blunt, it's hard enough to learn what the real questions are in your thirties and forties, much less in your twenties.  It's even more difficult ...

Six Tips for Managing Your Stress in a Stress-Filled Environment

One of my international readers from a Middle East nation sent me a very gracious thank you for my blogging.  A Gen-Yer with an MBA and out of school barely three years, he asked me a very important question: I feel like I'm over-stressed all the time.  What can I do to manage my stress better?  First of all, it's not just Gen-Yers who are over-stressed.  I meet people from all walks of life and all the generations who tell me they're overstressed.  Although I have a lot of background in stress management and have taught the subject, that doesn't keep me from occasionally having to deal with the stuff. But it does make it possible to deal with it more effectively. 

First, some stress background.  Be aware that some stress can enhance performance, whether we're saddled with a new project, presenting to the CEO, arguing in front of a jury, participating in a triathlon or negotiating the terms of a business deal.  That adrenalin surge, triggered by some situations, increases our stress and enables us to focus better, become more efficient and perform at the top of our game.

Yet we also know that some stress undermines our performance.  We can't concentrate, creativity fizzles out, frustration sets in and we become forgetful, moody and irritable. 

So what does stress do to us?  Well, one thing is that it activates the fight-or-flight responses: our heart rate and blood pressure go up and hormones, especially adrenalin, can take over.  As I said, some stress can be very positive.  But too much means that all the benefits disappear and we start to go downhill. 

Learn to identify your personal stress-response patterns so you can take steps to intervene.  Pay attention to your mood.  Getting discouraged, and excitement gone?  Check your stamina.  Feel like you're running out of steam--and hitting a brick wall?  Listen to your body.  Headache?  Back pain?  Dizziness?  Or a racing pulse?

I assume that most of us don't have to deal with chronic stress which can result in really serious problems, but that in the new economy most of us have to deal with more "occasional" stess--task and project related stress.

Here are six tips for managing your stress successfully in a stress-filled environment.

1. Prioritize your tasks on a daily and weekly basis.  It takes time to learn how to prioritize effectively, and it usually requires input from your boss and your colleagues to do a good job.  But I'd suggest that one of the most basic ways to start the process is to figure out what you're NOT going to do today.  Do that first thing in the morning, and just set those things aside for another time--or never.
2. Do what you most hate first thing in the morning--or as soon as possible.  I learned this from a wise client years ago, and I've found that it's a wonderful stress releaser.  I can mull and fret over something for hours, lowering my efficiency and wasting time if I don't get the thing done that I most hate to do.  And all of us have what I call shit-jobs--or grunt jobs--sometimes every day.
3. Put an end to thinking in worst-case scenarios.  We can get emotionally worn down, fatigued and terribly discouraged by spending a lot of time worrying about them.  Set them aside.  Practice the toilet mentality--out of sight, out of mind.  Start your day by playing out scenarios in your brain that are in your own best interest.  There is plenty of useful research that supports the role of "thinking positive" about our tasks.  Optimism can be learned.
4. Get enough sleep.  I think it was the philosopher Voltaire who once said, "I've got so much to do that I've got to take a nap."  In today's 24/7 work world a full night's rest may be an impossible dream.  Still, whenever possible, routinize your sleep.  Go to sleep at the same time every nite, and watch your long nites.  If you're still dating, an overnite often kills off two-to three days, leaving you satiated and happy, but profoundly fatigued.  As one of my young friends puts it, dating requires a lot of energy.  He's right.  Plan it!  Manage your hormones. 
5. Eat a balanced diet.  There's a reason that a lot of Greeks live to old age.  It's their Mediterranean diet.  Fruits, vegetables and meat merely as an accompaniment to the meal rather than the main entre.  Fish and chicken can be a major part of the diet as long as they're not deep fried.  Stay away from a lot of grilling.  Heavy beef and pork are ultimate killers.  I've always loved lamb--and it's very low in animal fat.  You might try bison.  Many grocers are beginning to carry it regularly.  It's tasty and very low fat.  If you're Middle Eastern, goat is also very low fat.  My undergrad college served goat for occasional meals, and I developed a taste for it.  And watch the portions of food.
6. And finally, regular exercise.  There's a reason you feel refreshed after a run or a long walk.  More brain neurons are being created.  The research says a minimum of three sessions of thirty-minute exercise per week.  Do it even when you're tired.  If I'm worn out and emotionally fatigued, the sofa and TV are a disaster.  I simply put my butt into gear and go exercise, even if I'm dragging.  I always feel better as  result.

The fundamentals of stress management are nutrition, exercise and sleep.  Don't ignore them.  After that, there are a lot of tips out there.