Dan Erwin

Nine Rules for Successful Personal Change

In several  of her astute blogs, Rosabeth Kanter of Harvard Business School, writes about change and emphasizes the difficulties of what she labels the "miserable middle."  Put it this way, it isn't change that does you in, it's the transition from where you are to where you want to get to. 

My clients have spoken to me often about the difficulty of their changes: getting a new boss, getting a new role, gaining new subordinates, working across different disciplines--and on and on.

There are times when I think that I've lived a charmed life.  When I went from parish minister to seminary professor, from a person with fingers in every hole in the dike, to a teacher with a narrow focus and motivated students, it was an easy transition.  I've talked about the difference as a "slide."  I just went down the slide to the teaching profession.  After all, a great deal of of parish ministry is about teaching.  Besides, I liked being free at night and not having to spend Saturday preparing sermons and Sundays preaching.  I loved my weekends with family--and occasionally, just skipped church.  In short, there was no miserable middle, no muddling around with the transition between my previous position and my new position. But when I went from teaching to consulting, now that was different. There was a long, frightening, questioning miserable middle of more than a year. And for most in major career transitions, the middle will be even longer...

Is Everything Actually Negotiable?

The research finds that far more things are negotiable than most imagine. Indeed, even though the economy is picking up, I've found that haggling is still very, very possible. 

Indeed, my basic rule is that you can barter or haggle for just about anything. In today's world, where the notion of job security has become a farce, haggling provides another means for some setting aside some "f--k you money."

But it's still amazing how few are willing to haggle. A few months ago I was conversing with a woman whose kids had rented a home, they thought, in one of the top school districts. When they found they were on the wrong side of the street, they decided they'd have to take their lumps and stay there. Although I suggested otherwise, she wanted nothing to do with it, nor did she believe her kids would be willing to renegotiate or haggle to move across the street into the best school district.

Consumer naivete keeps most people from doing what sophisticated businesses do every day: "if you'll do this, I'll do that." Or, "I'm really interested in that TV set, but not at that price. I do, however, have some other products I'm looking at, so lets create some kind of a deal. Here's what I suggest."

A few years ago, Negotiation, the monthly newsletter put out by the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School, did a fascinating series on the science and art of haggling...

The Best, But Most Underused Personal Development Strategy

In the military, where the notion of debriefings originated, personnel returning from a mission are questioned thoroughly. Sometimes gently, sometimes aggressively.

Their interviewers want to make certain that everything they've noticed and learned has been evaluated and shared with the right people. That's among the fundamental reasons that the US military has the finest and most well-trained forces in the world.

However, you don't have to agree with the popular notion of business as guerilla warfare to benefit from personal debriefing. Furthermore, the less you associate debriefing with critical and unusual events the better. You'll learn a lot more by debriefing yourself on those everyday events that are a normal part of your responsibility. And the more you integrate debriefing into your personal activities, the more useful tool it becomes.

FYI: Contrary to conventional wisdom, studies show ...

The Wasted Attention to Human Foibles

Some time ago I heard David Brooks comment that the American public pays way too much attention to human foibles.  And in an astute Journal article, Joe Queenan argued the same case. The Obama impeachment fantasy is another case in point. 

I learned years ago that paying much attention to a politician's foibles, especially when the person was near genius policy-wise, and the country needed his or her expertise, was often a horrible waste.  Richard Nixon, a documented dissembler, eventually had to go because of the Watergate Scandal, yet his contributions to international relations are among the greatest of the 20th century:  successfully negotiated a cease-fire with Vietnam, opened the People's Republic of China and initiated detente with the Soviet Union.  

In my mind, significant expertise that benefits the the public community usually trumps personal foibles.  Inevitably, therefore, I had no difficulty admitting that Bill Clinton was a sexual jerk with a zipper problem.  And as far as I was concerned, that was his problem, not worthy of censure, impeachment or discussion.  His expertise in many areas of national importance was impeccable--and the nation as a whole would have been better off if Clinton's sexual peccadilloes had been ignored.  As David Gergen, advisor to three Republican presidents, has since pointed out--on many policy issues Clinton was a genius.  Gergen points specifically to ...