Why Tone Matters and how to
adjust it.
FYI: Tone is essentially the attitude you reflect toward your audience, whether one-on-one, team or even large group. (E.g.: tough/sweet/stuffy, personal/impersonal, authoritative/egalitarian, submissive/demanding, respectful/taken for granted, hopeful/cynical, friendly/distant, understanding/out of touch, etc.) Furthermore, all these attitudes demonstrate or at least imply emotional content. It is emotion that most successfully drives attention, and tone carries emotion.
It ain’t what ya do.
Hit’s the way that ya do it.
That’s what gets results.
Although many execs take tone seriously in face-to-face conversations, often manipulating it for their own advantage, it’s rarely discussed for business materials other those of public relations. Yet tone is just as valuable for the achieving of objectives in our writing of emails (and similar missives) as in face-to-face delivery.
Tone and performance
I’d guess that 25% of executives are aware of their tone
in conversing face-to-face. But for those few, say 5%, who have an especially
large repertoire of tone at their command, they inevitably start with honey, never
vinegar. And they believe in its motivational power. In other words, they work
to create a positive, warm, open, motivational and strategically transparent
environment by the attitudes they display. This power of believing that good
things will happen to their people, that they can achieve their objectives—and
communicating that to them—is supported by much research. The upshot is that
smart bosses spark performance by their tone—by expressing confidence (in fact,
overconfidence) in people through their emotions, body language and oral
language.
But on occasion, the wisest managers are also able to shift their tone to deal with those who are slackers, lazy, playing power games and, well. . . assholes and jerks. Their tone shifts are enhanced by language use, syntax, body language, eye contact and personal and vocal intensity. Some, even those with little self-awareness, can shift fairly automatically into the needed tone.
Written tone
Obviously, body language, eye contact, personal intensity
and emotion are not as visible in written material as in face-to-face
conversations. So how do you check and focus tone in your emails and other
missives.
. . . Constructive materials tend to be fairly gracious in their tone. For example, the use of thanks rather than mere demand, and warm salutations such as hello or hi, rather than merely the name of the individual to whom the missive is addressed. But more significantly, when making statements, they are held out as hypotheses rather than truths. Rather than implicitly dare people to disagree, they make statements that actively encourage people to disagree, to share how and where they see things differently. You’ll see statements like these:
--Do you see this differently?
--How does what I’m suggesting feel to you?
--What’s your take on this issue?
--What am I missing?
--What’s your reaction to this?
--Push back on me here—especially if you think I’m being unrealistic or unfair.
. . . Constructive materials also take the receiver very seriously. They recognize the time demands of others, and even the potential stress resulting from their messages. They’re also aware that the others may not have all the information needed, or may not understand why a message is coming at this time. Most significantly, they implicitly reveal respect and trust of the other person. They’ll be obvious in writing that they welcome the reader to question any information in the email, and to offer approaches that are not visible to the writer.
. . . When the receiver is a jerk, asshole, mediocre or plainly inept. Inevitably there are a few for whom positive language does’t work. Once you’ve identified them, you’ll quickly find that a gracious, warm tone just doesn’t work. After you’ve done your best with them, through three to five gracious, warm toned missives, put an end to that approach. Stop the above positive recommendations. Just give them the issues in plain, direct language. Protect yourself, and move in the direction of clear-cut statements, demands, expectations and responsibilities—statements that lack warmth and oppenness. Give them little wiggle room and make certain that your own information and expectations are clear.
If you’ve watched an astute manager, who is usually warm and transparent, deal with a person like this in a face-to-face, you know the pattern. There’s a direct, straight-forward, no bullshit intensity. The volume is lowered and the statements slowed down. The eye-contact is laser-focused, the manager is liable to be leaning forward, his muscles tight--and the intensity is obvious. The manager is asserting his role and his expectations through his tone. That’s what you want to duplicate in your emails and missives to these people. You’re literally putting a fence around your statements and around the person who’s receiving them. Your intent is no misunderstanding and clear expectations.
. . .
Say that as if you mean it!
There’s no question but what managing tone in your
writing doesn’t happen overnight. Tone can be elusive. But the results are
worth the learning. You’ll build trust, credibility and better performance in
people. And you’ll scare others straight. Furthermore, tone ties most of all to
strategy. Tone illuminates and focuses important behaviors. That goes for writing
and encouraging outstanding people as well as shaping up jerks and mediocre
performers.
Many business writers try to treat tone very simply by deciding to be “objective” and laying out “just the facts.” Candidly, that’s pure nonsense. All statements have tone--emotional substance—inherently. So you might as well grow your expertise in using it. Attempting to write without tone, like attempting to speak without emotion, is like trying to enjoy life without passion.
Flickr photo by: TheBrond