All of us like to receive praise and support--especially in the workplace. It makes for happiness and work engagement. Its no surprise, then,that over the past two decades systematic research has found a significant correlation between social support and workplace productivity. The implication, of course, is that the more social support you’re provided by managers and colleagues, the more significant the job satisfaction and the greater the work engagement.
However, as Shawn Achor has noted, that research is easily misinterpreted. The research on social support has focused on how much social support you receive, not how much social support you provide. It turns out, that giving feels better, does more for you, and provides greater returns in the long run, than getting ever does.
Using a research base of 1600 participants, Achor broke the group into quartiles. He found that the top quartile are 20 times as likely as the bottom quartile to make up for the work of other employees. He also found that of the bottom group, 95% of those who provide no support to others, are not engaged productively in their work. Furthermore, only 7% of those in the bottom group received a promotion during the past year, while 40% of those in the other three groups received promotions. Most significantly, not only were those who supported others more productive, but they also were more satisfied and happy in their work. In short, Achor has found that there is a lot of getting in giving.
Achor, a Harvard Divinity grad, has taken his religious teaching seriously, and found that as in St Francis’ prayer, “it is in giving that we receive.”
That being the case, what are the best ways for giving? To rephrase, how do you go about strengthening your workplace relationships? Here are five important keys to that issue. They’ve been shown to be highly useful for strengthening relationships at work.
Positive feedback. Of course, the generic stroke, such as “thank you, good job,” or even “congratulations,” is important. But most important in giving positive and negative feedback is an explanation of the “why.” So detailing why you appreciated the job and explaining what about the performance was special are very important. Effective positive feedback reinforces not only the value of the performance, but also the process or means of achievement. Positive feedback not only raises morale among your peers, it also helps to insure the type of support you would like to receive in return.
Mediating conflict. Dealing with differences, coping with, resolving and mediating conflict are especially useful skills for giving in today’s organization. No one wants to be miserable at work, and those who can intervene to stop the “pain” in a work setting are often looked up to. Differences often require additional skills in developing not only your own relationships but also the relationships between others. These skills can add not only to the productivity and happiness of an organization, but also to its vitality. Indeed, a person who is able to give by mediating differences among peers will often receive by being chosen as the leader of a team.
Talking about talk. Talking about how you talk to each other, the communication process itself, is one step removed from the actual communication event. If you are able to talk to peers about the way in which you are communicating with one another, not only will you surface differences before they mature or explode, but you’ll also gain a great deal of additional, practical information about each other’s values, goals and attitudes. Acknowledging these similarities and differences can grease the way you work together and make for an easier time even over very difficult projects. For example, you might say to a colleague, “I was thinking about our team meeting this morning, and I’m wondering if I’m clear about the scope of our project. Did that make sense to you? I saw you frowning and thinking about it, I wondered if I wasn’t being clear or if you disagreed. I’d really like your opinion.” Talking about your talk, what’s known as meta-communication, is rare in most work settings. But it can make many “undiscussables” part of the conversation, thus increasing effectiveness. Although this is new stuff for most, it’s an exceptionally useful form of giving in today’s diverse organizations.
Help manage relationships. As the workforce adapts to the changing demands of customers, increasing competition and globalization, diverse teams become essential. Diversity reflects not only the differences of background (race, ethnicity, nationality), but also knowledge and expertise. Diverse teams can be especially challenging early in their formation. Research, however, finds that the negative effects usually diminish over time, yielding to positive contributions. People who have learned the skills of talking about talk are especially valuable in diverse settings, often making the difference between success and failure. For some, interpersonal relations within the organization are of prime importance, whereas to others the task assumes priority. In spite of the research on satisfaction and engagement (mentioned above) a significant proportion of workers keep their important relations outside of the work environment. Understanding all these differences and helping others to manage them successfully goes a long way toward strengthening relations and effectiveness. Mediation skills are valuable in settings even where conflict is not an issue. The personal satisfaction as a helper can be very gratifying.
Providing resources. One of the obvious means of giving and strengthening relationship is offering resources to those when schedules, expertise and head-count create problems. Although it’s not always possible to make such offers because of one’s own schedule, many managers and employees ingratiate themselves to colleagues through these provisions. Our culture runs on a you-scratch-my-back-and-I’ll-scratch-yours basis. Paying attention to that model goes a long way toward strengthening work bonds, which ultimately pays its own dividends.
These keys overlap, yet I’ve separated them for the sake of emphasis. All, of course, deal with the interpersonal and are a form of conversational leadership. In the final analysis, the success with which you manage your interpersonal relationships at work can make the difference between looking forward to going to work each day or dreading the next negative interaction with colleagues.