In my last blog, I pointed out that job security is not based on performance, but mostly upon your ability to manage your boss--specifically your ability to enhance your boss's ego. That's true with all people in power. The truth is that there are plenty of poor performers who are securely entrenched because the boss likes them. I can hear some of you groan as you read this, but look at it this way. It's a tough world out there, and it's going to get still more personally demanding. So, enhancing your boss's ego is a highly useful survival skill.
Recognize, first, that it's not just the insecure that like to feel good about themselves. All of us are motivated to seek out positive feedback. And avoid the negative stuff! Part of the reason we get such a bang out of Garrison Keillor and his folk in Lake Woebegone is that it's the place where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average. Seriously, the so-called above average effect has been studied in a very systematic way. The research shows that we all overestimate our abilities. U Florida's John Chambers points out that in the surveys more than half of respondents say they are above average on such things as intelligence, sense of humor, appearance, negotiating ability--pretty much everything. No surprise that Keillor's description of Woebegon is a description we enjoy.
So, one sure way to make your boss feel unhappy, as Jeff Pfeffer points out, is to criticize him or her. And that's especially true if the issue is very important to your boss and he is a bit insecure about it. If your boss makes a mistake, see if someone other than you will point it out.
Relationship secret.
It's exceptionally important in my coaching business to find out from numerous interviewees what are the three or four most significant strengths of my client. That's the beginning place for a long term relationship. I've learned that very, very few people have much insight into their strengths. They know all kinds of details about their weaknesses, (which they're unwilling to share with you), but little about their strengths. Indeed, too often, feedback amounts to the generic stroke: You did a good job. That's of little value, especially since research from the past twenty years has clearly shown that we don't perform at the highest levels by trying to fix our weaknesses. Instead, the best performance-improvement rule is to leverage our strengths and merely shore up our strategic weaknesses.
So,there's a lot to be gained by figuring out the strengths of the power people in your organization and flattering them. Here's an example.
One executive, a bit of an asshole, was also a genius at keeping his people focused on the organization's strategy. That single strength brought profitability to the firm for more than 20 years. On numerous occasions, I commented to him that I deeply appreciated his focus on strategy, and I'd detail examples from his conversation and behavior. Furthermore, when people complained about him to me, I often said, What you're saying is true, but John's (fictitious name) emphasis on strategy keeps the company focused on its business, provides a superb income for its managers and people, and keeps you secure in your job. On numerous occasions John thanked me not only for what I said to him, but also for what he'd found out I said to his people. That flattery also made it possible for me to carefully give him feedback on his developmental needs.
Our knee-jerk response is to identify a person's weaknesses. Instead, shift your focus to finding out your boss's important, strategic strengths, and emphasize them to him or her. Be sure to add to your emphasis that you'd like to learn from your boss's strengths for your own future. You'll find that flattery has more value than just keeping your job.