Thanks to some cool research by Mark Snyder at the University of Minnesota, you may never look at vulnerability the same way again. Snyder, a Minnesota psychologist, has found that the people really good at self-promotion practice the fine art of personal vulnerability. What Snyder found is that the people that really "click" with others are high self-monitors. They are able to adapt their personalities, behavior and attitudes to fit the people around them. In short, they pick up subtle social cues and tailor their responses to the other person. Those that are best at the process do it without even realizing it. Think Bill Clinton or Oprah.
The fact of the matter is that the better salespeople understand this process rather well. It shows up in their interactions and presentations. Sure, they organize their material to match the client's needs. But rather than keep their cards close to the vest, they open up and and share their feelings.
Business Week reported the following: A study conducted by SUNY-Stony Brook social psychologist Arthur Aron and his research team paired individuals who didn't know each other and assigned each a set of cocktail-party-type questions, such as: What did you do over the holidays? The other half were given questions that required more intimate self-revelation, such as: What are your most treasured memories? The pairs who were forced to be more vulnerable in their answers formed incredibly quick, deep connections. One pair even married.
Most people are exceedingly resistant to being vulnerable in any setting. However, the research is rather clear. Despite what you might think, vulnerability is a strength. The more you're able to open up and share your feelings, the more trust and the more likely a connection. Aside from just working better, vulnerability saves you a lot of time in the workplace.
The article on self-monitoring and vulnerability is here: BusinessWeek.