You read that right. We look at all the nonverbals except one: vocal cues. Vocal cues are not just about loudness and softness. There are many different messages in them. U.S. businesspeople play down the voice in more formal settings. This becomes especially obvious in males when the issues assume significance.
It's important to understand that language is mostly a conscious activity, while nonverbal behavior, including voice tone, is fairly involuntary. If a person is saying one thing, but his/her nonverbals are saying something else, trust the nonverbal messages. Certainly check out facial animation, color changes, muscle tension, antsy behaviors while sitting, but don't miss vocal tone.
Voice tone is genuine. Tone, like all nonverbals is an illustrator when accompanied or tied to speech. It illustrates what is being said verbally. It reinforces the verbal message, emphasizing what a person is saying about her comfort with you, or her rejection of your advances. Listen for such characteristics as warmth, tension or sincerity. If a person's voice goes quiet, flat or emotionless, that's also signaling something, perhaps control, caution or even fear. If the tone is pushy, trying too hard or bright, you're getting still different messages.
Three nonverbal rules:
You can't not communicate. Even silence is communication. Often, you'll have to ask to find out what silence means.
Be careful about drawing nonverbal conclusions based on your first meeting of a person. What's vocally flat in one person may be a message of warmth in another.
Nonverbal emphasizes the intensity or importance of what is being said. It not only compliments what's said, but it also accents or repeats the verbal message.
Observe (and listen to) the nonverbal and try to define what the consistency between verbal and nonverbal looks and sounds like in each person. Individuals differ in the degree to which they express nonverbals. Cultures differ very much in the degree to which they express nonverbals, even between different parts of the U.S. The Upper Midwest, where I live, uses less verbal and nonverbal intensity than any other part of the country, while the Southeast uses the most.
The best way to begin to understand vocal tone is to pay attention to just that one nonverbal for a single day or more. As you're conversing with someone, keep listening to the tone of voice. It may feel strange, but you'll gain a lot of insight as you keep up with the process.
Managing up, sideways or down, negotiating, persuading, building relations are just some of the competencies that can be enhanced by a richer understanding of listening to the nonverbal.