I've worked with Carol Dweck's studies on motivation for some time now and have learned to focus far better in my coaching. Carol has found that people have one of two mindsets: a fixed mindset that limits growth and a person's future, or a growth mindset that enables a person to see the world in a new way and develop their talents throughout life.
A mindset is not merely a personality quirk. It's a deeply held stereotype or mental model that determines our fundamental attitudes, our thinking, even our actions. A fixed mindset means that you have to prove yourself, trying to look talented over and over again, like a rat on a wheel. A growth mindset means that you know that your talents can be developed, that great abilities are built over time, and that you can take the steps to do it right through your failures--the path of success.
So, when I'm coaching a client or team member, what I want to know ASAP is how that person deals with failure. Yeah. . . . just getting some people to admit failure is a pain in the ass. However, there are plenty of successful people out there who have no difficulty admitting failure, and even laughing about it and telling me, off the cuff, what it did for them.
Why is how a person deals with failure important?
Dweck answers the question in spades, in ways you won't see anyplace else. Your mindset frames the whole running account of what's taking place in your head. It guides your interpretation of events and makes your own sense out of those experiences. Carol reports that several of her studies have probed how people analyze and make sense of the failure information they're receiving.
Those with a fixed mindset constantly monitor the input and feedback they're getting. But, here's the rub. Everything good is a positive stroke, and everything bad is a negative stroke. They're caught in an endless cycle of trying to look smart and talented at all costs. Feedback is interpreted from a judgmental perspective. When they fail, to use the old language it's all about "bad me." As a consequence, when they've failed, they back out of the situation, blame someone else, and never try that one again. It's the path of stagnation and career obsolescence.
And as Carol also points out, those with a growth mindset are also monitoring their experiences. But there's a significant difference. They don't judge themselves and others like those with a fixed mindset. Of course they pick up on the positive and negative information, but they assess it for its potential for learning. They want to know how they can improve and how they can help their partners. They understand that failure provides insight into how to change, how to grow and eventually how to succeed still more.
That's why, ten years after college graduation, when you meet some talented people you expected to succeed, you're surprised by their lack of success. But others? You would never have thought that they'd succeed, but they do.
So, how do you deal with failure? If you're constrained by a fixed mindset, you can make the changes that lead to fulfilling your potential. But it'll take some self-monitoring and work. Stay tuned.