Gen-Y Skill: Be Very Careful Before You Hit the Send Button

Gen-Yers have a well-deserved reputation for technology in the DNA.  They grew up with it, understand it and like to use it.  On several occasions, however, some of my Gen-Y colleagues have set themselves up for difficulty by their use of email rather than face-to-face. 

In a recent post my friend, Alexandra Levit, emphasized the importance of face-to-face communication for building relationships.  I noted that professionals in many fields are resistant to using email for strategic relationships.  They insist on phone and regular face-to-face meetings. They have found what I've argued to be true: email is dangerous.  It is profoundly open to misunderstanding.  In some relationships it can easily set you up for liability issues and it, therefore, should be kept to the minimum. My architectural clients maintain that stance as much as possible.  Lawyers also refuse to put much in email for the same reasons.  And senior execs tend to keep email at a minimum, detailing only matters such as meeting times, confirmations, etc.

It's impossible to exaggerate the importance and value of the face-to-face conversations and the nonverbal  component.  A recent article from Negotiation detailed three problems with emailing that we need to pay attention to not only in negotiation but in all interpersonal emailing.

Email leads to subpar outcomes. It lacks both the visual and vocal cues that are so much a part of communication.  As a result the writers can become overly self-absorbed and self-interested.  Face-to-face conversation moderates feelings and ideas, and enables us to better explore interests and relationships.  If you intend to use email, try to follow it up with a face-to-face or phone conversation.

Email fosters contention and mistrust.  The research revealed that when there are differences, people tend to feel less inhibited behind a computer screen.  Email lacks the social cues, the eye contact and warmth that are possible in face-to-face conversation.  That warmth is nearly impossible in email.  Never use email as a barrier to other people.

Email leads to misunderstandings.  Because we can dash off an email in seconds means that we often convey the message sloppily and incompletely.  Those of us who write blogs think about it for a while, then put it into print and revise it several times.  If we have any concerns, we have our "editor" check it over for style and substance, depending on the target audience. 

On plenty of occasions I've waked myself before the 5AM blog posting because my brain suggested an important revision.  And because Gen-Yers are several generations removed I regularly have my Gen-Y editor go over that stuff with a red pen.  He's not at all shy about the feedback and I know I need it before I push the typepad post button.

We are all a lot more careful face-to-face than in email.  

I make it a rule to limit my email as much as possible to three sentences or less.  Bottom line:  Be very  careful before you hit the send button.

What email problems have you faced that you'd be willing to share with my readers.  I'd appreciate your input.