A recent post on Brazen Careerist discussed one of the first issues every new Gen-Y manager faces: how do you manage someone your own age or someone who is a friend?
The insightful comments that followed the post reveal the kind of motivation and commitment every executive wants in his/her managers. They demonstrate the kind of personal wrestling with new responsibility that makes for success. Taken together, the comments read like the frustrations of a new manager from any generation. But here's what Gen-Yers have to say:
- We're not used to having someone our own age being in charge of us.
- Gen-Yers don't take work as seriously as they should. Too often deadlines are missed or opportunities are not taken because Gen-Yers don't have the drive they should.
- It's great that many Gen-Yers approach me as a friend. Befriending one another makes the boss more approachable and more respected.
- Maybe a little formality between boss and report is necessary.
- How do you think Gen Y will do managing Gen X or Boomers?
- I don't believe in looking down at your employees and I also don't like to be strongly authoritative.
- It's hard to tell someone your own age he needs to be a little more responsible and proactive with his job issues.
When I analyzed these comments, I found that they are all focused on one issue: what relationship between manager and subordinate will be most productive?
The best way to deal with these issues is through the use of a "relationship format." Most Gen-Yers are familiar with digital formats on which you store, discover or deliver information. Excel, for example, is a format that enables users to plug in information and come up with specific outcomes. A relationship format builds on the same principle.
The objective of this work-relationship format is to enable a manager and subordinate to work together most effectively. Although a manager can initiate the process, it works better when the subordinate initiates and manages the format. That way the conversation becomes an act of self-advocacy and tells the manager that he or she intends to make the relationship work. The process was spelled out by Ed Schein of MIT more than twenty-five years ago. (It's a tragedy that it has not been widely disseminated.)
Remember that the basic task between manager and subordinate is to build a relationship and establish an emotional climate that facilitates getting things done effectively, and provides a set of agreed-upon relationships that support decision making and business. The questions asked by Gen-Yers need to be answered by each manager. The answers may change over the years, but the answers need to be mutually agreed upon. The conversational format normally includes answers to the following:
- How will we set mutually shared goals?
- How will we go about solving problems?
- How will we make decisions?
- How will we ensure follow-through and completion of tasks?
- How will we keep our lines of communication open?
- How will we manage our differences?
If you don't know each other very well, you may want to begin with a conversation about the first question. Set up a 45 minute appointment and start talking. It might sound like this: "I've not worked with you as a manager, and I'd like for our relationship to be a success. Can we talk about project goals? Do you prefer to talk big picture, or are you more analytical and prefer to start out our relationship with work tactics? I'm comfortable either way."
Make certain that over the next few weeks you consider all of the issues. . . take notes, and follow through on the decisions. Managers consistently love the process. One of the most typical comments from both both subordinates and managers is, "Wow, is that useful. It saves hours and hours and prevents all kinds of breakdowns. I can work with this guy."
This format, supported by protocols and scripts, is a proven step-by-step strategy for gaining a particular response--techniques that can be used to resolve recurring issues. In the near future, I'll lay out some of the typical issues that come up and provide you with actual protocols and scripts to deal with them.
FYI: Brain scientists have recently researched the actual impact of such techniques as protocols and scripts on brain development. They've found that every technique or skill we develop exists as a circuit in the brain. In the language of scientists, "experience-expectant processes" are teed up and waiting to create skill circuits. A "skill has to be formed and optimized," but circuits are available and waiting to lock onto those skills that are in the development stage. Technique development, the practicing and repeating of a skill initiates an expertise circuit. The effect is further development of your brainpower and your work expertise.