Creating an interpersonal relationship of warmth and getting information you need will work hand in hand. In a previous post, I hyped up the key relationships of warmth and competence (see my post). However, it's those nonverbal listening skills that provide infrastructure for warmth.
Every conversation, no matter how brief, involves two messages--a content message and a relationship message. Nonverbals deliver relationship messages. Judy Burgoon and her colleagues at Chapel Hill (U North Carolina) specifically studied how nonverbal behaviors affect perceptions of warmth.
Intimate distance can signal attraction, trust and caring. How do you measure intimate space? It's actually very simple. Walk up slowly to the person until he/she starts to move back. The instant you see that movement, just back up very slightly yourself and you'll see the other stand still again. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, the other person won't recognize what you've done.
Smiling can communicate a slightly warm, emotional turn-on. It signals liking and comfort with the other. A cue: shake hands smiling, and then shake hands without smiling. You can see and hear the results for yourself.
Touching, too, communicates warmth. That may only be a handshake, or even a momentary touch on the forearm. Most people understand that slight touching can be positive, but elongated touch can be very dangerous. If you step back just slightly after touching, it's usually perceived as warm but not aggressive.
Eye contact is like an exclamation point. Edward T. Hall, the world-famous anthropologist, says that facial language intensifies the affects of the other nonverbal behaviors.
Recently I've been working on space and intimate distance with some of my clients who are building long-term relations with their clients. The results have been, well . . phenomenal. One of my trainees said to me, "Why didn't we learn this a long time ago? It really facilitates a conversation and a relationship."