Although it's prohibited widely in this country, hitchhiking is universally understood as a means of transportation gained by asking others for a free ride. Conversational hitchhiking is a largely unknown, but easily understandable metaphor for an important relationship skill. It's the ability to pick up on free information, the conversational statements of others, and use that information to gain further knowledge of a subject, refocus questions, reframe issues and build more trusting relationships.
Managers in American corporations have received a lifetime of training in being forceful, articulate "advocates" and "problem solvers." Indeed, I've found myself in business situations where one person says one thing, a second person says something else, and a third advocates still another direction. As you can guess, there's no listening, no interaction, no consensus is reached, no mutuality is found and no decision is reached.
Clearly, most managers know how to present and argue strongly for their views. However, in today's work world most professionals face complex issues involving everyone around the table. In those instances where thinking and learning together are necessary, hitchhiking is a highly valuable communication skill.
If one person were to hitchhike on another's comment, restate it, ask a related question and listen intently, the team dynamics would change. The format for hitchhiking is straightforward: Listen intently. Paraphrase or restate what the other has said, then ask a question. For example:
"You said that you thought some adjustments to our marketing process might bring better results. What changes did you have in mind?"
"If I understand you correctly, you're arguing for tighter financial controls on sales administration. How would that proposal affect . . . ?"
"You're saying that we that we need to rethink our personnel policy. Help me understand some of the possible alternatives we might consider."
But beware, there are dysfunctional forms of conversational hitchhiking. In some organizations adroit conversationalists can skew the hitchhiking process by relentless "interrogating" without caring at all for the person being questioned. Still others can make hitchhiking destructive by using it for "politicking," in which there is no real question, but an attempt to manipulate the situation to one's own advantage. This results in team members unwilling to expose their thinking. Instead, they may withdraw into silence or argument instead of engaging in useful dialog.
Some personality inventories suggest that each of us has a natural predilection toward either telling or asking. Debate and law teach telling, while journalism and social work teach asking. I have a hunch that managerial males tend to be heavily into telling, while managerial females do both telling and asking. What has been your experience?
What uses can you see for hitchhiking in your organization?