Turf battles can be among the most frustrating experiences for many workers. Recently a Gen-Y friend in marketing research (let's call her Jan), learned a great lesson about the power of the nonverbal. Just three years into her career, she began a team project about a subject with which she was unfamiliar. The second week, having difficulty understanding the details of the project, one of the team members said to Jan, "Forget it. I'll do it." Jan was particularly frustrated because when she asked for help and information from that colleague, she took the issue away from Jan rather than coach. On the third occasion that it happened, Jan essentially backed out and handed the project to her colleague. After sleeping on what had happened, she decided that she blundered, losing control of her own responsibility and negatively impacting her reputation and career.
Organizations are inherently and fundamentally problematic. Interpersonal competition, politics and turf battles are inevitable. They present us with situations that are difficult to solve and even tortuous to define or manage. They force us to choose how we are going to act and talk. It's those decisions that determine whether we will acquire and maintain power or not, much less succeed or fail. Many situations require us to pay close attention to the impression we make as we talk and respond to others. We are all on stage more than we want to believe. If you wait for the organization to support and help you through those difficult, ambiguous situations, you're liable to have a long wait. Plenty of research suggests that organizations don't care very much about you personally.
When I asked Jan about her actions, she admitted to me that she acted shyly, confessing that she didn't know how to execute, that she was embarrassed, and felt extremely uncomfortable. In short, she made a weak and inhibited impression before her colleagues, portraying herself as victim rather than in charge.
Sometimes your actual knowledge base, as well as your actual power, are quite ambiguous. In such settings, the impression of taking charge, even by displaying anger, can be very useful. Studies by Stanford's Larissa Tiedens reveal that those who show anger and determination rather than negative emotions will be seen as dominant, strong, competent and smart, but less nice or warm. And it is our nonverbals that first signal our emotional state.
Jan was ready for the next meeting. She dressed up a bit, made certain her hair was neat, put on a minimal but appropriate amount of makeup, and walked into the room like she owned it. She took more space at the table, sat up straight,eye-balled her colleagues, moved directly in front of her troublesome colleague and ratcheted up the vocal intensity (not the pitch level), making clear-cut, informational demands with an obvious expectation that others would respond to her request. Although willing to confront her colleague, she did not have to, because the nonverbal messages clearly drew boundaries. On one occasion Jan actually interrupted her colleague, another useful strategic maneuver. Her peer became immediately helpful, did not attempt to intervene, and offered help when asked directly. For Jan, the experience was a classic example of the power of constructive self-presentation--and totally nonverbal.
Jan is learning the lesson that many still have to learn: the world is not always fair. Those who intend to succeed will have to promote themselves and fight for their own interests. Nonverbal talk, in and of itself, can be used to create impressions of power, authority, credibility and even personal attractiveness. Indeed, nonverbal talk, as Jan's behavior brought home, can signal a person's expectations and bring about the behavior that conforms to those expectations.
Photo from Flickr, by WildImages
